Bride and Groom want to leave reception early?
July 26, 2010
I’m planning a wedding and it is expected that we throw a dance for our guests. I know it used to be custom for the bride and groom to leave after all the ceremonial stuff has been done (Dinner, speeches, first dance, father daughter dance, cake cut, garter/bouquet toss etc) and the guests would stay and enjoy the party.
I want to stay and get to say hi to everyone but I don’t like parties, I have no interest in drinking and dancing and neither does my fiancé, I’d much rather leave and spend time alone with my new husband.
How do I go about leaving, I don’t want to just disappear, I’d like to say goodbye to our guests and have them see us off?
We are planning to stay for a few hours, nothing rushed, we just don’t want to stay till the early hours of the morning and be too tired to enjoy the evening when we’re alone. We’ve hired a wedding planner so I’m hoping we won’t be too tired to enjoy the wedding night, but even if we’re too tired I’d rather have that time alone with him.
We are a Christian couple and this will be the first time we’ve "been together" fully so I don’t really want to waste time at a party we’re not that interested in and then be too tired when its over.
We want the guests to feel free to stay as long as they want after we leave and we plan on making this clear.
Neither of us enjoy dancing but our friends do, Our parents are paying for the party and they understand us leaving early but are insisting that we throw the dance.
We’re thinking we’ll leave around 9 right after I throw the bouquet.
Our schedule right now looks like this
4-5pm -Ceremony
5-6pm- Mingle and Cocktail hour while we get pictures done
6pm – Dinner is served with speeches between courses
7:30ish Cut cake
8 Father Daughter Dance which is interrupted by hubby for first dance
8:15-9 Mingle and start of dance
9 Throw bouquet and Garter and have everyone give us a send off
10-2 Guests are welcome to stay and dance.
We’re having a brunch the next day for a more intimate time with many of the guests.
We’ve hired a cleaning service and people to take down the decorations so that’s not a problem
We’re staying at an inn nearby and will be telling reception that we don’t want any calls or visitors put though, we move into our house after the honeymoon
Since this is going to be your honeymoon night, no matter where it is spent, do like some couples that have a plane to catch, etc. and this used to be done a lots before people just wanted to party. Change clothes into a nice suit or dress with a going away corsage which you can have incorporated into your bouquet if you want and take it out before you toss it, have hubby wear a suit and tell them it is a surprise, he hasn’t told you where you are going. Don’t let him tell you, book a room at a nice hotel in town or the next town and no one will know any different. Problem solved, the honeymoon couple is on their way and guests can enjoy! Would do this anyway, don’t know where you were planning to spend the night anyway as you say you are having a brunch the next day. You need a secret destination anyway, because it has been known to happen if you stay at home, you get prank phone calls, serenades, who knows when over zealous friends have had a little too much to dring. Go away and don’t tell, I know.
17 Responses to “Bride and Groom want to leave reception early?”
Dont be so rude
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By bak1123 on Jul 26, 2010
The only wedding I’ve been to this happened they had a limo pick them up and the groom had his new wife pack for nice wheather but didn’t say where he was taking her and the limo took them to the airport but everyone else stayed. I don’t really remember when they left but I know that after the cake cutting they stayed made a round to hi to everyone danced a little and then went but we stayed till the end. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing don’t leave too soon. Maybe you should get a limo to pick you up and have your guest say farewell and let them keep partying. Congrats!
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By ★Shooting★Star★ on Jul 26, 2010
My ceremony was at 5pm, dinner started at 6, and the reception was over by 10. This was plenty of time for us and our guests to have a wonderful time, and still early enough for me and my new husband to retire to our suite to talk about the night, drink some champagne, take a shower, and get romantic.
10pm is not late.
If you leave, your guests will be uncomfortable and will likely leave as well.
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By Blackberries on Jul 26, 2010
If you don’t want to deal with a long reception just put a time limit on the invite. Put something like "Dinner and Dance will follow the ceremony at (wherever you choose for the reception) from 5:00pm to 10:00pm" That way your guests won’t feel weird being there without you guys. The point of having guests at a wedding and reception is for those people to celebrate your marriage can’t really feel comfortable celebrating the love and marriage of a couple who aren’t there.
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By C on Jul 26, 2010
I’ve actually had several friends who went through this same ordeal recently. Nobody expects you to stick around for the whole evening. Don’t snub your guests, but there’s nothing wrong with leaving during the dance. Trust me, everyone else will be preoccupied (groomsmen hitting on bridesmaids, relatives talking). It helps if you have an open bar
Either make an announcement or tell whoever is helping you host the reception (a parent or whatever) and the guests will happily send you off. Some of the guests who don’t know many people will leave, but those who are close to you will be fine.
Seriously though, have an open bar and nobody will think twice about it.
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By Michael on Jul 26, 2010
I agree with "C"s answer.
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By Roz on Jul 26, 2010
At every single wedding I have been to the bride and groom have left well before the rest of the guests. In my mothers day they made a big deal of the bride changing in to a "going away" outfit and had a receiving line where they got to say goodbye to each and every guest and then the band would start playing again and guest would dance and drink until the venue threw them out
. If you feel a bit guilty about leaving early perhaps you could have a BBQ the next day, which would give you a chance to chat with your wedding guests in a more relaxed informal setting.
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By almarj70 on Jul 26, 2010
I went to a wedding last weekend where the wedding reception was 6pm – 10pm. The bride and groom then enjoyed the bridal suite at the attached hotel. This was perfect for them and they weren’t exhausted or rushed that night and yet their guest were happy too. I think it’s totally rude to leave earlier than 10pm, if your having a reception. I went to a wedding last year where the bride and groom left really early (7pm) and really really offended their guests, especially their own families, it was really embarrassing for everyone.
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By Rose on Jul 26, 2010
actually if your ceremony is at say 5 then it is very acceptable for you to leave about 10.
And that includes pictures and cake cutting and bouquet toss and everything like that.
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By dreamingaboutyouto on Jul 26, 2010
Well i don’t know if you have a limit you can have your reception space but why have the guests stay until the early hours of the morning? Who is going to clean up? A reception is no fun without the bride and groom. You have the rest of your lives to be alone together shouldn’t your guests have this time to spend with you? If you aren’t interested it the party why are you having it? your first time doesn’t have to be that night, in fact I have to clean up my wedding and reception mine not be for several days. The way I see it, you have the rest of your life to be alone and have those moments together.. Why abandon your friends and family on this day you will only have once? Live it to the fullest you won’t regret it
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By Singer/Songwriter on Jul 26, 2010
The custom of the bride and groom leaving early doesn’t happen much anymore – I’m surprised to see people still do it.
I know when my husband and I got married 5 years ago, we stayed for the entire reception because we spent a lot of money on it and we wanted to enjoy every minute of it. However, we had our wedding on a Sunday night and because most of our guests were working the next day, they pretty much all left by 9:30-10 and the reception ended by 10:30, which worked out great for us.
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By Rising Sun on Jul 26, 2010
ok to leave have your father announce that all are welcome to stay and dance.
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By Nora on Jul 26, 2010
I’ve been to many weddings where the bride and groom left after the meal and first dance. Everyone blew bubbles, threw rice or whatever was provided; wishing them well. Photos were taken and it was fun.
People who wanted to stay were welcome, but not many did because the bride and groom were gone. And there is nothing wrong with that. So if you want to leave, then by all means, it’s your privilege.
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By HIS! on Jul 26, 2010
You really need to leave. There are older people that will want to leave but won’t be able to because you haven’t left. What we’re doing is leaving at 9 ish, and then meeting our friends around 12 for drinks. That gives us time to go consumate our marriage, and lets the wedding stand on its own.
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By bubblegumh20 on Jul 26, 2010
What were thinking about doing is having our ceremony at 2pm and then we will be out of there by 8pm. Gives everyone 6 hours to eat, dance and have fun. Then were still home by 9pm.
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By Sarah on Jul 26, 2010
Since this is going to be your honeymoon night, no matter where it is spent, do like some couples that have a plane to catch, etc. and this used to be done a lots before people just wanted to party. Change clothes into a nice suit or dress with a going away corsage which you can have incorporated into your bouquet if you want and take it out before you toss it, have hubby wear a suit and tell them it is a surprise, he hasn’t told you where you are going. Don’t let him tell you, book a room at a nice hotel in town or the next town and no one will know any different. Problem solved, the honeymoon couple is on their way and guests can enjoy! Would do this anyway, don’t know where you were planning to spend the night anyway as you say you are having a brunch the next day. You need a secret destination anyway, because it has been known to happen if you stay at home, you get prank phone calls, serenades, who knows when over zealous friends have had a little too much to dring. Go away and don’t tell, I know.
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By Jenny Lynne on Jul 26, 2010
if you aren’t planning to stay, why have the party go for NINE hours- i mean, seriously, i have never been to a wedding that the party goes on for NINE hours!!! cocktail hour starts at five, and you are letting them stay until 2am?! that’s a LONG time.
i also think that you are underestimating the fun and visiting that happens at your wedding and just concentrating on being uncomfortable about dancing. you’re supposed to be throwing this as a celebration of your wedding- not out of a sense of obligation to have a NINE hour party.
ps- if you’re doing the right thing (i.e., marrying the right person) you have the rest of your life to be with him- how about being less selfish and allowing the people who are traveling and spending a lot of money on gifts for you to celebrate with you?
don’t worry- you generally don’t need to tell the concierge that you don’t want calls or visitors put through on your wedding night- what kind of social misfits would try to crash your wedding night?
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OMG- YOU HAVE BEEN ASKING THIS QUESTION (ABOUT 15 TIMES) FOR OVER A YEAR! IF YOU HAVEN’T FOUND THE ANSWER THAT YOU WANT, HOW ABOUT YOU ASK SOMEONE ELSE?
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common sense
By stardancer on Jul 26, 2010